So here we are again...discussing the ills of our excruciatingly modern society and trying to muster up the courage to live independently of all 2011 conveniences for the sake of keeping our vintage sanity; our ideals of yesteryears long gone. It would be silly of me to pretend to be anything but vintage, as I've always lived at least seven decades behind (at least in my mind). In grade school, when everyone else came to class gabbing about what happened on Nickelodeon the night before (OK, OK, I watched it too), I was daydreaming of sexy Mr. Blandings building our ...er...his... dream house. Carey Grant was the tops in my book. But most eleven-year-olds weren't even up to speed with The SweatHogs (and boy could I imitate Arnold Horshack!), so how could I possibly expect them to understand my love of Fred & Ginger films? In high school it was even worse. While the teens on my block were jamming to Biggie Smalls, I was in my bedroom writing poetry to the sounds of Ludwig Von Beethoven or belting out the tunes to my favorite musicals on record such as Carousel, Oklahoma, and West Side Story. My walls were covered with posters of Marilyn Monroe & The Beetles - {George...*sigh*...} - and I begged my mom to get me the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever for my seventeenth birthday.
So lets fast-forward past my multi-era identity crisis of my twenties and focus on the present...or lack thereof. At this stage of the game I'd much rather live in seclusion in a 1920's inspired cottage playing Gin Rummy with my hubby & watching a 1939 flick on DVD, than ever venture out into the cruel, cruel world. This time that we live in, sullied with children lacking imagination, electronic gadgets that do just about everything for you, and R-rated caliber commercials grace the screen during little one's waking hours. You could say...in essence...that this world is headed towards Hades in a hand basket...a very frilly handbasket filled with rancid fruit. But I digress.
As I was saying, this is not the time to fall prey to the modern conviences of our society. This, my nostalgic obsessed comrades, is the time to revolt. So what if everyone else's child is attending public or private schools! Its homeschooling all the way for my family. We wouldn't dare have it any other way. So what if parents and children alike think family time means being hovered around a Wii lazily playing a virtual outdoor sport! I say family time still means popcorn, hot chocolate and scrabble topped with a viewing of The Wizard of Oz. Why not? Whose to say that my idea of life isn't swell as well? I live amongst furnishings of "the good old days" and choose to live in my own private Wonderland. Thats my choice and in that is where my sanctuary, sanity, and contentment lie. And all others may choose to live as they see fit. Be a family of the times, see if I care. "By my right eye..." ...well...you know the saying...or perhaps (sadly)...you don't.
"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."
~ Leslie Poles Hartley (English Writer 1895 - 1972)
Empress of The Past
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Twilight - 15 Step (Radiohead)
I am SO loving this goth mood I'm in. I need it for my book anyway. Writing and listening to music gets my creative juices flowing. *sigh* Ahhhhhhhhh.....
Fanfarlo - Atlas (The Time And Space Machine Remix)
I'm in a very goth-esque mood. Its not a bad thing, mind you. But it does mean that I'm a bit more pensive and introspective than usual. Just...thinking... About people...places...things...
I know that people aren't all prejudiced-against color, religion, culture, etc. Ok, maybe there are tons of biased folks out there either unknowingly or uncaringly judging others. And then (here's the kicker) treating them a certain way based on their perception of said people. I know that this DOES exist as I have been judged for the color of my skin, my features, my quirky personality, my beliefs...you name it, I've been judged for it. I have been many people in my day too - at least, on the inside. But golly gee day! I don't understand people at all. These wretched humans whom I am only half related to...don't they get it??? I am not a person to be understood. Look up the word 'Bewilder'...see? There I am. My picture should be there somewhere. That's me: the puzzling Cat Woman. The Meteor Freak. The Girl With Silver eyes. I'm not like other people in more ways that a few. I'm...special. We'll not go into my God-given gifts and talents. I'll touch on that later. It blows most people's minds. Even those who have known me for years seldom believe me when I expound on my 'abilities'. Lets just say that God gives some people gifts to use for His Kingdom. Like Prophet Kim Clement. And since my Sabrina days are long since over (but unfortunately for me, not forgotten), I've decided not to bring them up in conjunction with the person I am today. I'm redeemed by The Blood of Christ & now I play for His team. The Devil's 401K plan included perks like Amityville-type demonic hauntings and...um...an eternity in flames. Yeah. Not so into that. anyway, like I said, that was 13 years ago. I'm a Warrior Princess in the Army of The Lord now.
So anyway, in short, people don't get me. On top of my zany character & hermit tendencies, I am black. You don't say? Well, despite my alternative persona, I am African American. And that has never bothered ME, but for some reason, it tends to rattle others. Just when you thought it was safe to speak proper English & listen to Blur while toting The Bible, it simply isn't. At least not for a black gal in TX. Geez, I wasn't even wholly accepted in MD, but at least I could be myself and my peers just shrugged it off as "That's just Michelle."
I've always had issues being accepted by causasians. Sad but true. No matter how many racially mixed Catholic & Lutheran schools I went to (predominantly white) and no matter how educated or super-intellectual I am, I've always been the odd-gal-out. With the exception of my BFF Martina who is not only white but half British, most Caucasians just didn't understand me. So I was 'allowed' to hang out with them but never taken into their confidence or really befriended by them. It was like being allowed to go the the party. but not to participate in the activities, ya know? So any-who, I pretty much said "Heck with it. I'm cool. Do you and hang out with yours." But now, at 31, I really don't want to sit on the sidelines. I'm not wallflower. Don't invite me to the party to take up space and tell everyone, "Oh, sure we're not prejudiced. We even have a black girl here!" You aren't fooling anyone. I'm no token...at least...not by choice.
In this life, the only one I have to live, I want to be happy. Acceptance is SO not gonna happen, of that I'm sure. But if its not going to happen, I want it to NOT happen on my own terms. weird, ja sam, but its what I want. I'm too old for sorority snubbing and race-based-standoffishness. Come on. Its 2011 and God is soon to come. be what and who you are with no fetters holding you back. I am. I have always tried to be myself, whoever that ends up being. But I also want to surround myself with like-minded individuals, True-unadulterated-Christians, and people who choose not to live behind a mask. That's only cool for like, Batman or Superman or....Catwoman. and that is who I am. But you know what...unlike my feline ancestors before me...I choose to walk bare-boned & free...in the sun. If you don't like it or me, tough. Deal with it.
~Empress of Felines
I know that people aren't all prejudiced-against color, religion, culture, etc. Ok, maybe there are tons of biased folks out there either unknowingly or uncaringly judging others. And then (here's the kicker) treating them a certain way based on their perception of said people. I know that this DOES exist as I have been judged for the color of my skin, my features, my quirky personality, my beliefs...you name it, I've been judged for it. I have been many people in my day too - at least, on the inside. But golly gee day! I don't understand people at all. These wretched humans whom I am only half related to...don't they get it??? I am not a person to be understood. Look up the word 'Bewilder'...see? There I am. My picture should be there somewhere. That's me: the puzzling Cat Woman. The Meteor Freak. The Girl With Silver eyes. I'm not like other people in more ways that a few. I'm...special. We'll not go into my God-given gifts and talents. I'll touch on that later. It blows most people's minds. Even those who have known me for years seldom believe me when I expound on my 'abilities'. Lets just say that God gives some people gifts to use for His Kingdom. Like Prophet Kim Clement. And since my Sabrina days are long since over (but unfortunately for me, not forgotten), I've decided not to bring them up in conjunction with the person I am today. I'm redeemed by The Blood of Christ & now I play for His team. The Devil's 401K plan included perks like Amityville-type demonic hauntings and...um...an eternity in flames. Yeah. Not so into that. anyway, like I said, that was 13 years ago. I'm a Warrior Princess in the Army of The Lord now.
So anyway, in short, people don't get me. On top of my zany character & hermit tendencies, I am black. You don't say? Well, despite my alternative persona, I am African American. And that has never bothered ME, but for some reason, it tends to rattle others. Just when you thought it was safe to speak proper English & listen to Blur while toting The Bible, it simply isn't. At least not for a black gal in TX. Geez, I wasn't even wholly accepted in MD, but at least I could be myself and my peers just shrugged it off as "That's just Michelle."
I've always had issues being accepted by causasians. Sad but true. No matter how many racially mixed Catholic & Lutheran schools I went to (predominantly white) and no matter how educated or super-intellectual I am, I've always been the odd-gal-out. With the exception of my BFF Martina who is not only white but half British, most Caucasians just didn't understand me. So I was 'allowed' to hang out with them but never taken into their confidence or really befriended by them. It was like being allowed to go the the party. but not to participate in the activities, ya know? So any-who, I pretty much said "Heck with it. I'm cool. Do you and hang out with yours." But now, at 31, I really don't want to sit on the sidelines. I'm not wallflower. Don't invite me to the party to take up space and tell everyone, "Oh, sure we're not prejudiced. We even have a black girl here!" You aren't fooling anyone. I'm no token...at least...not by choice.
In this life, the only one I have to live, I want to be happy. Acceptance is SO not gonna happen, of that I'm sure. But if its not going to happen, I want it to NOT happen on my own terms. weird, ja sam, but its what I want. I'm too old for sorority snubbing and race-based-standoffishness. Come on. Its 2011 and God is soon to come. be what and who you are with no fetters holding you back. I am. I have always tried to be myself, whoever that ends up being. But I also want to surround myself with like-minded individuals, True-unadulterated-Christians, and people who choose not to live behind a mask. That's only cool for like, Batman or Superman or....Catwoman. and that is who I am. But you know what...unlike my feline ancestors before me...I choose to walk bare-boned & free...in the sun. If you don't like it or me, tough. Deal with it.
M E O W
*bad kitty*~Empress of Felines
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