A Toast to the Extraordinary Damsel of Imagination Station

My Blog Is Unlike Any Other Blog in that it is written by a strange & unusual woman who fancies herself a better writer than she lets on & something of a character to boot. Her wit & seemingly narcissistic trinkets of wisdom are full of comedic candor which come straight from her imaginary (but very real) friend Harvey, the 6'1 tall white rabbit who is also a Pooka, and a very good friend to Mr. Elwood P. Dowd, the person to whom credit must be given. He inspires the darling Chel to always (and almost to a fault) be herself. Charmed, I'm sure.

Being far more than a true credit to her sex, Michelle's presence in this world lends hope to the masses...unbeknownst to them. She is called to be The Caretaker, The Protector, The Warrior Princess in The Army Of Christ. She has the unique gift of SEEing and it has equipped her to handle whatever comes her way, be it national disasters or battling rogue spirits, she is the Chosen One. So give homage where it is so rightfully due and tread softly on her Blog...

Adieu, mon ami...































Monday, February 22, 2010

Time For A Tesseract

I seem to be coming apart tonight. I'm a little frayed at the edges as it is, so I have to watch for any real signs of unraveling. What good is a fabric if its torn apart? It's a shame "what a shame", that's what. And I'm nobodys baby at least not in the patronizing sense. I like cold hard facts accompanied by a spoonful of reality. There's no bursting my bubble anyway...not since I've had it insured (alternate realities don't come cheap ,you know). I'm like Seinfeld's Cosmo Kramer. Serenity Now didn't help him because he was already a foot inside crazyland. What good can come from disillusioning someone like that? Give me my cake & I'll eat it anyway I like, only let me eat it. My way of thinking is a bit off the wall and if your the majority whose kept out of the loop (IE:my head) then it stands to reason that my musings are no more than the rants and raves of a very sad young woman. Beautiful & exquisite by far, but oh so sad, indeed.

So on a night like tonight when it seems I've been carrying this heavy load...lets call it the donkey w/sponges upon its back...and I've slipped and fell into a whole lake! I'm not the bearer of bad news. No, I just hold the key to Pandora's (sister's) box...And HOW! A damsel in distress (although 5'10 & quite capable of war) shouldn't have to bear such awful tidings. Not when Life itself (that heel) is running amuck, flinging hardships around as he would gumdrops to a roomful of school kids. Say it ain't so, lovey, say it ain't so.

So I'll toss the fiddler on the roof some ducats (does he take those?) and dance until my eyelids droop to a most unattractive length & fall into a dreamless slumber...or a nightmare-induced coma...whatever the script calls for.

I'm a bit of a ham, I know it. I'm an old soul who'd rather attend the Opera than watch Oprah. I'm more in my element at the Theatre watching Noel Coward's 'Blithe Spirit' than I am at any new movie showing. The touch of mink disgusts me (I'm an animal rights advocate) but the film delights me. I feel that every woman should be Doris Day (for a day) and Barbara Stanwyck at night. Or Delilah. Take your pick. Whatever sparks your fancy. But what I want to be for just one minute is young and naive again. To look at Life (the blackguard) as a sugar-daddy, showering me with a 22karat gold experiences 24-7. This is my wish. At least at this moment, while my wits elude me and I'm emotionally undressed.

At this moment...I want to feel loved...

~Empress of Felines

A Stroll Along Mommygroup Lane

I've been taking in the sights on my stroll down Mommy group Lane & the stories I could tell you! Quite shocking; for shame (tsk, tsk). It gives me great pleasure however, to unearth the underlying force which compels these women to meet & greet each other (strangers, mind you) & pretend to like each other. How do I have such insight, you ask? My perception of these dames isn't entirely from afar. You see, I myself am in a mommygroup. Gasp! Then by what right do I dare say anything about someone else? Well chums, let me give you the skinny on these 'moms' (and I use the term loosely).

#1: Not all mommy groups are created equally, but there are some Christian-based ones out there which are true credits to their name. The one I am active in is the one of which I speak. My son & I love it! The women are very honorable & very sweet. These women are too, too adorable & don't deserve to be loped in with these other crumb-snatchers. They will be excluded from my judgement.

#2: The evildoers and nay-sayers i speak of are non-believers from a past playgroup I had the misfortune of being a member of. They don't hold true the Gospel teachings (for shame, for shame) & they are charlatans. They appear to be quite normal upon first glance: having play dates, being friendly (under the guise of learning your personal business & then airing it out for all to see), being courteous to your children. Then one day: Pounce! They rub their noses in your private affairs & then proceed to spread malicious gossip throughout the mommy group. They cheat on their husbands (or their husbands are unfaithful to them & they ignore it), they care only about money & social status, they drink mercilessly & succumb to their innermost desires...with each other! It's Sodom & Gomorrah and all under the guise of attaining playmates for their children. We should be so cursed! I saw with my own two eyes the horrors these women are capable of & am proud to say I fled as quickly as I could. I'm a Christian 1st and foremost, The Bible says Have No Fellowship! So I must do as the Good Book says & separate myself as far as possible from these 'unclean things'. Gracious! I never knew women could be so awful. My husband & I are so glad to have found a wonderful Christ-centered playgroup for myself & my little one. The gray clouds are clearing once more for Blue Skies & happier days to come!


~Empress of Felines

A witty exchange between the teapots

I was setting the table for midday tea & happened to eavesdrop on the exchange between two rather supercilious teapots, one made of silver & one made of porcelain. Here is what I happened to catch:


My dear, my dear you are cracked, if you think you can do a better job than I can!

Darling, you are full of milk if you believe you are the most efficient of us all.

Well, I'm no coveted family heirloom, but I'll do until another comes along.

Say, do mean to tell me that Your a prize? Ha! I'm the winner in this derby!

Well, I should say not! I can do anything you can do, and How!

We'll just see about that!


~My friends, we have just witnessed a dialogue between two teapots fighting for the proverbial throne. Or have we? Couldn't this be two women vying for the title best mom or best housewife, or just being plain catty? I think so. Think the dialogue sounds silly or doesn't ring true? Then my dear, you haven't been around many felines...err...women...have you?~

-Empress of Felines