Life-Boat: The Untold Story

So this year has been incredibly difficult to recover from. Its like for 12 months I've been in a life-induced coma. I've tried, with much effort mind you, to drag myself from the depths of insanity, but at the last moment...I changed my mind. Hey, the people in sanitariums haven't a clue or a care in the world. I gather they have the right idea. Why do I talk of going insane all the time? Why does the thought of going mad excite me? My dears! Why shouldn't it? Every backwards and loony proposition holds yet another key to Wonderland and since I hail from such a a place, naturally, its in my nature (and best interest) to keep the hope alive, so to speak.


As of late, my ship has been a rockin' and the impact of it had me sea-sick. For the past 6 months I've been googly-eyed, green-faced, and nauseas to boot. My marriage was sinking along with my ideals. My faith was wavering (it was practically drunk). My body was going through an internal catastrophe, with my blood-glucose soaring to an all-time high. I could have died. At the time, the thought seemed a rather pleasant escape from all of my inner and outer turmoil. Call me an optimist, but I really held on to the light at the end of the tunnel, even when i was thrown into utter darkness. My husband, like most of his species, is an idiot because he refuses to go about things the way Christ would want him to. In Wonderland it is always The Queen's way but on earth (as Christians) God wants us in His Will going His Way. James has issues with that last sentiment. He writhes and wiggles away from anything that makes sense and hops off into the psycho sunset with a devil-may-care attitude. Well frankly, the devil doesn't care as his only objective is to steal, kill, and destroy. Yeah...his goals are skewed but this is Mephistopheles we are speaking of - duh!
And coupled with my spouse's resistant stance towards tithing, the almighty dollar not just running but speed-racing away from us, and our intimacy level at negative one, my life boat resembled The Titanic...at the end of the movie...when Leo DiCaprio was blue-face-up and floating...


Yeah..it was that good. :-D


And now? Well now I've decided that instead of giving my man his walking papers (whic was sooo happening two weeks ago), I'm not letting the enemy steal my joy OR my marriage (in that order). I'm fighting in the army of The Lord anyway, I may as well put up my dukes for matrimony while I'm at it. So thats pretty much it. With a resolve to let Jesus be our guide and love light the way to marital, financial, mental and physical freedom, we're doing the darn thing. Faith, Hope, and Love is going to be our motto. But since the greatest of these is the latter, thats where we're going to start. ;-)


Ciao,


~Empress of Optimism

Ｍｉｄｎｉｇｈｔ Ｍａｄｎｅｓｓ

Ｗｈｙ　ｃａｎ　Ｉ　ｎｏｔ　ｂｅ　ｎｏｒｍａｌ？　Ｉ　ｍｅａｎ，　ｉｔ　shouldn't be　ｔｈｉｓ　ｄｉｆｆｉｃｕｌｔ　ａ　ｔａｓｋ　ｔｏ　ｅｘｅｃｕｔｅ．　

Ｉｆ　Ｃａｒｙ　Ｇｒａｎｔ　ｃｏｕｌｄ　ｄｏ　ｉｔ　ａｎｄ　ｍｙ　ｄｅａｒ　

Ｇｅｏｒｇｅ　Ｓａｎｄｅｒｓ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｈｅ　ｌｅｆｔ　ｔｈａｔ　

ｓｕｉｃｉｄｅ　ｎｏｔｅ．　Ｔｈｅｎ　ｗｈｙ　ａｍ　Ｉ　ｈａｖｉｎｇ　

ｔｒｏｕｂｌｅ　achieving　ｔｈｉｓ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓｍａｌｌ　ｇｏａｌ？　

Ｉｔ　ｈａｓ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｍｙ　ｃｒｏｓｓ　ｔｏ　ｂｅａｒ．．．

ｂｅｉｎｇ　ａｂｎｏｒｍａｌ　（ｔｈｅ　PC　ｔｅｒｍ　ｉｓ　＇ｕｎｉｑｕｅ＇）．

Ｉ＇ｖｅ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｄｒｅａｍｅｄ　ｏｆ　ｄａｎｃｉｎｇ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　

ｍｉｎｅｆｉｅｌｄｓ　ｗｉｔｈ　lollipop　ｌｉｐｓ　ａｎｄ　

ｂａｂｙ－ｂｅａｒｉｎｇ　ｈｉｐｓ　ｓｗａｙｉｎｇ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｒｅｅｚｅ，　ｊｕｓｔ　flabbergasted　ｂｙ　ｌｉｆｅ　ａｎｄ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｎｏ　

ｃａｒｅ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ．．．ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｇｏ．

Ｔｈｅｙ　ｔａｌｋ　ａｂｏｕｔ　Ｂｅａｕｔｙ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　Ｂｅａｓｔ，　ｂｕｔ　ｗｈａｔ　ｏｆ　Ｂｅａｕｔｙ　＆　ｈｅｒ　Ｂｒｅａｋｄｏｗｎ？

Ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　ｆｒｏｗｎ　ｕｐｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｒｅ　ｍｅｎｔｉｏｎ　ｏｆ　

ｍｅｎｔａｌ　ｉｎｓｔａｂｉｌｉｔｙ．　Ｗｈｙ？　Ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｅｙｅｓ．．．

ｉｎｓａｎｉｔｙ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｃｏｍｆｏｒｔａｂｌｅ　ｂｌａｎｋｅｔ　ｕｎｄｅｒ　

ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｅｎｔｉｒｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｓｌｕｍｂｅｒ．　

Ｓｗｅｅｔ　ｄｒｅａｍｓ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｈｏｓｅｎ　ｏｎｅｓ．

～Ｅｍｐｒｅｓｓ

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Time For A Tesseract

I seem to be coming apart tonight. I'm a little frayed at the edges as it is, so I have to watch for any real signs of unraveling. What good is a fabric if its torn apart? It's a shame "what a shame", that's what. And I'm nobodys baby at least not in the patronizing sense. I like cold hard facts accompanied by a spoonful of reality. There's no bursting my bubble anyway...not since I've had it insured (alternate realities don't come cheap ,you know). I'm like Seinfeld's Cosmo Kramer. Serenity Now didn't help him because he was already a foot inside crazyland. What good can come from disillusioning someone like that? Give me my cake & I'll eat it anyway I like, only let me eat it. My way of thinking is a bit off the wall and if your the majority whose kept out of the loop (IE:my head) then it stands to reason that my musings are no more than the rants and raves of a very sad young woman. Beautiful & exquisite by far, but oh so sad, indeed.

So on a night like tonight when it seems I've been carrying this heavy load...lets call it the donkey w/sponges upon its back...and I've slipped and fell into a whole lake! I'm not the bearer of bad news. No, I just hold the key to Pandora's (sister's) box...And HOW! A damsel in distress (although 5'10 & quite capable of war) shouldn't have to bear such awful tidings. Not when Life itself (that heel) is running amuck, flinging hardships around as he would gumdrops to a roomful of school kids. Say it ain't so, lovey, say it ain't so.

So I'll toss the fiddler on the roof some ducats (does he take those?) and dance until my eyelids droop to a most unattractive length & fall into a dreamless slumber...or a nightmare-induced coma...whatever the script calls for.

I'm a bit of a ham, I know it. I'm an old soul who'd rather attend the Opera than watch Oprah. I'm more in my element at the Theatre watching Noel Coward's 'Blithe Spirit' than I am at any new movie showing. The touch of mink disgusts me (I'm an animal rights advocate) but the film delights me. I feel that every woman should be Doris Day (for a day) and Barbara Stanwyck at night. Or Delilah. Take your pick. Whatever sparks your fancy. But what I want to be for just one minute is young and naive again. To look at Life (the blackguard) as a sugar-daddy, showering me with a 22karat gold experiences 24-7. This is my wish. At least at this moment, while my wits elude me and I'm emotionally undressed.

At this moment...I want to feel loved...

~Empress of Felines

A Stroll Along Mommygroup Lane

I've been taking in the sights on my stroll down Mommy group Lane & the stories I could tell you! Quite shocking; for shame (tsk, tsk). It gives me great pleasure however, to unearth the underlying force which compels these women to meet & greet each other (strangers, mind you) & pretend to like each other. How do I have such insight, you ask? My perception of these dames isn't entirely from afar. You see, I myself am in a mommygroup. Gasp! Then by what right do I dare say anything about someone else? Well chums, let me give you the skinny on these 'moms' (and I use the term loosely).

#1: Not all mommy groups are created equally, but there are some Christian-based ones out there which are true credits to their name. The one I am active in is the one of which I speak. My son & I love it! The women are very honorable & very sweet. These women are too, too adorable & don't deserve to be loped in with these other crumb-snatchers. They will be excluded from my judgement.

#2: The evildoers and nay-sayers i speak of are non-believers from a past playgroup I had the misfortune of being a member of. They don't hold true the Gospel teachings (for shame, for shame) & they are charlatans. They appear to be quite normal upon first glance: having play dates, being friendly (under the guise of learning your personal business & then airing it out for all to see), being courteous to your children. Then one day: Pounce! They rub their noses in your private affairs & then proceed to spread malicious gossip throughout the mommy group. They cheat on their husbands (or their husbands are unfaithful to them & they ignore it), they care only about money & social status, they drink mercilessly & succumb to their innermost desires...with each other! It's Sodom & Gomorrah and all under the guise of attaining playmates for their children. We should be so cursed! I saw with my own two eyes the horrors these women are capable of & am proud to say I fled as quickly as I could. I'm a Christian 1st and foremost, The Bible says Have No Fellowship! So I must do as the Good Book says & separate myself as far as possible from these 'unclean things'. Gracious! I never knew women could be so awful. My husband & I are so glad to have found a wonderful Christ-centered playgroup for myself & my little one. The gray clouds are clearing once more for Blue Skies & happier days to come!


~Empress of Felines

A witty exchange between the teapots

I was setting the table for midday tea & happened to eavesdrop on the exchange between two rather supercilious teapots, one made of silver & one made of porcelain. Here is what I happened to catch:


My dear, my dear you are cracked, if you think you can do a better job than I can!

Darling, you are full of milk if you believe you are the most efficient of us all.

Well, I'm no coveted family heirloom, but I'll do until another comes along.

Say, do mean to tell me that Your a prize? Ha! I'm the winner in this derby!

Well, I should say not! I can do anything you can do, and How!

We'll just see about that!


~My friends, we have just witnessed a dialogue between two teapots fighting for the proverbial throne. Or have we? Couldn't this be two women vying for the title best mom or best housewife, or just being plain catty? I think so. Think the dialogue sounds silly or doesn't ring true? Then my dear, you haven't been around many felines...err...women...have you?~

-Empress of Felines